I tried my best to make it to Communist Cuba, but it turns out that it is a lot easier with a trillion dollar bill in hand...
Friday
I slept terribly, waking up every couple of hours... Largely due, I think, to loud people entering the room, and knowing that I had to be up early to be picked up and not wanting to sleep in as a result.
Someone was up before my alarm went off, which was at about 5:45 AM, so, not wanting to be caught without a shower I jumped in as soon as they had vacated. It was about 6 AM.
I showered, got dressed, had a tiny amount of food, and walked across the road to the Palm Royal Hotel to be picked up by the bus. I got to the pick up spot at about 6:25-6:35, at least 15 minutes early before the 'get there 10 minutes early' time of 6:50 AM... So, I sat around and I waited... Given that I was going to be doing a lot of walking around, or so I figured, I'd gone with shoes instead of thongs. I was going around in shorts and a t-shirt, and despite it being before the sun rose, it was really nice and balmy in South Beach.
The bus eventually came (early at that!), and I walked back across Collins Avenue where the guy had parked, and on to a bus with only 4 other people on it... We drove downtown to the Holiday Inn (across the road from the Bubba Gump restaurant the other day) and picked up a bunch of other tourists, including the requisite 10 Asian tourists with cameras/equipment bigger than their heads... We then hit the road for the Florida Keys. The driver was a big Latin fellow named Juan, who would say something in English with a thick accent, then repeat it in Spanish... Did anyone care? Just Juan... Did anyone ask him to repeat himself? No Juan... Should I stop making puns? Yes...
With the sun rising, a near 4 hour drive ahead, and my awful night's sleep, I quickly dozed off. I was awoken by our 'breakfast' stop, which was either Dunkin' Donuts, Subway or McDonald's... We had '20 minutes' to get ourselves fed and back on the bus or Juan would leave without us... 'Strictly 20 minutes'... I didn't want to test Juan, and instead of following the crowd of 20 people to McDonald's I headed to Dunkin', because there was no one there... I ordered two hash browns, expecting them to be one piece hash browns McDonald's in Australia style, however, what arrived was two bags of smaller hash browns, so, each bag had maybe 10 browns... I felt that this was a good deal, and I was comfortably the first person back to the bus... Though, that didn't matter much, because Juan was in the clear minority wanting to leave on the 20 minutes he set, because everyone else came back with McDonald's about 25 minutes after his original request... Many also ignoring his request for them to refrain from bring hot beverages back to the bus, with 80% of people bringing on hot coffee... Aside from me, who else listened to Juan? No Juan...
I slept intermittently throughout the drive down, but was awake for enough of it to appreciate the scenery that was passing by me and the amount of work that would have gone in to building the 43 or so bridges and causeways from the mainland to Key West. I was also awake and up to see the 'world famous' Seven Mile Bridge (although I had never heard of it to know what it was... Perhaps I need to watch more Bond films!)
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| Map of the region |
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| Excuse the crappiness of the photograph |
We arrived in Key West at around 11:30 AM, having left Miami proper at 7:45 AM.
I was now closer to Cuba than I was Miami... The first thing I did was look for a boat to get me to the Socialist paradise, but coming across a bathroom I settled for that and then took a trolley tour of the island.
The tour departed from Mallory Square in the centre of Old Town. It took us by the old Customs House, and through to the old Port area of the island. There were some really, really old buildings still being used as eateries, apparently all very good... The buildings all had tin roofing which seemed a bit odd, but this was apparently due to a massive fire on the island back in the 1800s from which a city ordinance came that they would all have to use tin or metal roofing to avoid the spread of fire in the Old Town... A lot of the houses were really interesting and unique as well. Apparently a lot of ship captains and other assorted shipping folks had been put to work building houses with whatever material they could find. This made for a very interesting architectural view of the island as well...
Due to the proximity to Cuba and the rest of the Caribbean there is a massive influence of other cultures... Cubans, Bahamians, Latin cultures... It is a real melting pot...
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| Key West - Home of the Southernmost everything in the USA |
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| This waterway runs through Key West... The people who live on it have the choice of driving their boats to the Atlantic Ocean, or the Gulf of Mexico... |
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| Local wildlife portion of the tour behind a Best Western Hotel... |
The Conch Republic? Story of the Day
Sam (to trolley tour driver): "I keep seeing 'the Conch Republic' everywhere. What's all that about?"
Driver: 'That's a good question my man. The Conch Republic...' *He pronounced it Conk* '... is a term that came about a couple of decades ago. Is anyone here familiar with the TV show Miami Vice? Yes? No? Only a few of you? Anyway, in that show there were lots of drugs... Well, that was based in reality in some ways, you see, drugs would come up from Cuba and South America and get transported to Key West, then driven along the bridges back to be distributed in Miami. Well, the American authorities thought that the best way to stop the flow of drugs would be to set up a road block and search each and every car that drove off the island. They'd search the entire thing, tear it to pieces and there was nothing you could do about it. Well, you can guess how the innocent members of the public took this... They decided that if they were going to be searched whenever they left the island then they would break off from the United States and become their own country; just get the US Government to set up a inspection house and give us a few million dollars and call it even... That never eventuated but the name stuck... They even printed up passports... Apparently something like 24 countries around the world accept the Conch Republic passport, but don't quote me on that'
Too late, I quoted him on it...
Crazy story right!
The island is divided into 3 areas, Old Town, mid-town, and up-town. The tour driver was very proud to tell us that they have all kinds of major chain stores that have shown up, I guess to illustrate that they aren't a backwater, but he did say Walmart was on its way.
We eventually made it to the Southernmost Trolley stop in the USA. The streets around were dotted with hotels and houses and restaurants proclaiming proudly that they were the Southernmost whatever they were in the USA... They of course meant the Southernmost in the 48 continental States... Not Alaska or Hawaii... The Freak States... This was one of the reasons I came to Key West, for the sheer novelty of standing at the Southernmost point of the USA. I walked down the street from the trolley stop and found a line 15 people long to be photographer with the marker... I took the photograph of some old people, who repaid the favour by taking a really average photograph of me (pretty standard for old people... I should have waited for the 10 Asians to show up with their camera skills!), then got stuck taking photos for the next 5 groups in line... Although, I was waiting for the next trolley anyway, so it was no real worry to be waiting around doing the photographing... I really should have put my hat out though, would have gone a way to paying for my trip!...
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| 90 more miles! |
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| Standing at the marker near the Southernmost point in the Continental United States |
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| I even resorted to taking selfies in search of a halfway decent photo |
What was interesting about Old Town though was the amount of sponges they had on sale... According to the tour guide, Key West was the world leader in sponge production until they started making synthetic sponges... There was even a man made of sponges... Although, reminding me a little too much of one of the monsters on the Flying Dutchman, (and not wanting to bring the wrath of Davy Jones) I decided against photographing the beast...
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| Why did the chicken cross the road? |
After lunch I bought a ticket to the Shipwreck Treasures Museum. It was one of those places where the people wear the period garb that I love so much... Before it started one of the actors came up to me and we got to talking...
Stupid Animal Moment of the Day
Actor: "I hate it when I have to do the pre-amble speech and there is no one here, I like it better when there is a captive audience"
Sam: 'Yeah, I can see how it would be better with a crowd'
Actor: "Oh, I see you're joining us"
Sam: 'Yeah'
Actor: "So where are you visiting from?"
Sam: 'Australia'
Actor: "Oh, OK, are you in Key West long?"
Sam: 'Just today actually'
Actor: "I've always wanted to go to Australia"
Sam: 'Yeah, its a nice country, I'd go there... And I say that with complete bias'
Actor: "Yeah, I've always wanted to go. My mom goes there all the time for business"
Sam: 'Well, when you come down you need to go to an Australian football game, try meat pie, and if possible eat a Kangaroo'
Actor: "I actually have had kangaroo before"
Sam: 'Yeah? Did you like it? Can you compare it to anything here or is it too hard to remember?'
Actor: "I really did, but it was a while ago, so it is hard to compare it to anything. I go hunting a fair bit, so I'm fairly partial to gamey kind of meats, but it depends a bit on what the animal eats"
Sam: 'Hunting?'
Actor: "Yeah, so, there are some deer that live on the Keys. They're actually endangered. But they're really easy to kill, mostly because the stupid things walk onto the road and try to eat the bitumen, but I tell you what... If I hit one of those deer I'd not be driving away... I'd be picking up the deer, taking it home, dressing it, and cooking the damn thing!"
Before we were able to enter the museum another actor gave a short speech and then we followed an old man actor into the museum. He was meant to be the owner of the establishment, an auctioneer, Asa Tift.
Briefly to explain... In Key West 'wrecking' was a legitimate career... As it was a major shipping lane there were a great number of ships going by the island... As the island is surrounded by the 3rd largest coral reef in the world it is a major graveyard for shipping... When a ship wrecked there would be a cry on the island of 'WRECK ASHORE', and then there would be a race to the wreck by the people on the island... The first person there would be named 'Wrecking Master' and would control the salvage operation, get the largest share of the profit, and be responsible for getting survivors off the ship. Human life was the most important thing, saving the souls of those on the shipwreck... Although, they could not pay for being saved, so the payment that the wreckers took was the ship and all its cargo. Once the salvage operation was completed the goods would be sold at a Key West auction house, usually for 50% or less of the actual market value... Some items would not even be sold due to there not being a market, for example, one time a ship wrecked which carried 10 Grand Pianos, which, once salvaged, were not able to be sold, so they were gifted to local families and schools.
The person whose ship had been wrecked had the opportunity of buying back their goods through the payment of a salvage fee. Though, once they paid they would again be responsible for the goods and getting them away from the island... In many cases people would not pay the fee and just ask the court or party in charge of the auction to simply pay them any extra gained after the salvage fee and auctioneer fees had been settled.
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| Shipwreck Treasures Museum |
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| Asa Tift regaling us with tales of auctioning and how the business works |
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| 64 pound bar of silver from the CURSED TREASURE of 1656 |
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| Who knew 64 pounds was heavy?... Guess I won't be taking this home with me... |
The Cursed Treasure of the Nuestra Senora de las Maravillas
On January 4, 1656 the Spanish galleon Nuestra Senora de las Maravillas loaded with over 5 million pesos in gold, silver and emeralds collided with another ship in her flotilla near the Bahamas. Of the 650 men aboard only 45 survived. The Spanish sent 6 frigates from Havana to salvage the treasure. The salvage vessel Madama do Brasil sank carrying a huge load of the recovered coins in June 1657.
The salvage went on for a further 4 years, during which time 4 of the 6 salvage vessels were sank whilst carrying the Maravillas' ill-fated fortune.
Much of the treasure retrieved early in the salvage effort was lost again when an entire Spanish fleet transporting the recovered riches to Spain was destroyed by British privateers near the Canary Islands in late 1657.
At this point the legend of a curse on the treasure grew, as much of the silver aboard the Maravillas had originally been salvaged from the wreck of the Jesus Maria de la Limpia Concepcion which sank off the coast of present day Ecuador in 1654.
The Spanish gave up for over a decade before salvaging 2 tons of silver in 1677, before abandoning the search of the cursed treasure...
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| Coins which, in their absence, grew the USA |
The El Cazador, a Spanish 'Brig of War', was loaded with a vast amount of silver bound for the Spanish New World territory of Louisiana. The purpose of this shipment was to boost the failing economy of the territory and to purchase near worthless paper money. The worthlessness of the paper currency came courtesy of revolutionaries from the newly formed United States in the form of counterfeit bills (as the paper that the counterfeits were being printed on was the same as what the Spanish were using).
King Carlos III dispatched one of his most trusted Captains in October 1783. After being refitted and loaded in Vera Cruz, Mexico, the El Cazador set sail on January 11, 1784. Unfortunately for Spain, El Cazador failed to reach New Orleans and after extensive searches of the region the Spanish officially listed the ship as missing in June 1784.
In 1800, King Charles IV agreed to cede Louisiana back to France, on condition that they not sell the territory to the United States.
In 1803, some 3 years later, the Emperor of France, Napoleon Bonaparte, sold the vast territory to the United States President Thomas Jefferson for $15,000,000 as a part of the Louisiana Purchase, ignoring the conditions set down by the Spanish when they ceded the territory back to France.
The rest of the museum showcased various things that were salvaged and sold by wreckers in Key West, including items such as stamps, writing slates, frontier trade goods (as many ships were bound for the Western United States as the railroads did not get cross the continent) and even 'courting candles' (which were used as a control by parents who would adjust the candle based on how much they thought of the male courting their daughter... The longer the candle the better chance you had...).
I then headed up to the lookout tower which stood above the museum and took my look on to the Gulf of Mexico, the Straights of Florida and over the island towards the Atlantic Ocean.
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| View over the island towards the Atlantic Ocean |
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| View out to the Gulf of Mexico |
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| View over the Customs House towards the Straights of Florida |
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| Overlooking Key West |
I then exited what was a really interesting museum and headed across the road. Rather than going to Harry Truman's house or Hemingway's house, I chose to go to another museum (if for no other reason than because I was running out of time and by staying close I would not miss the bus).
I am disappointed that I chose to go to the museum I went to next, which was the Mel Fisher Maritime Museum... Had I known going in that it was going to be a 2 story wank over Mel Fisher I'd not have paid the $12 to enter and follow their stupid rules... Get this, I was told to remove my cap and I wasn't allowed to wear it at all, even backwards, due to security purposes... I understand why now, but at the time of entering the rule seemed stupid... Mel Fisher devoted his life to finding a Spanish ship called the Atocha which was loaded with gold, silver and emeralds... Anyway, to cut a long story short, he found it, he salvaged the gold and silver and emeralds, and he made something like $500 million in doing so... The American Government apparently wanted all of it, Mel Fisher offered them 30%, to which they declined, took him to court for 8 years, and the courts eventually said 'finders keepers' and Fisher kept it all.... The reason that I wasn't allowed to keep my baseball cap on though was because there was a massive jewelry store out the back selling Spanish doubloons for $2,000-4,000 a piece...
Upstairs was the one saving grace of the Mel Fisher Maritime Museum, a two room exhibit on pirates of the Caribbean... Not the films, but the actual pirates of the Caribbean...
When is a Pirate not a Pirate?
Pirate refers to those to plundered for cargo.
Privateer plundered ships under contract with a certain government. A 'Letter of Marque' would be given to the Captain, describing how the plundered goods would be divided (usually 1/5 of the plunder was paid to the government). Privateers never attacked their own country's ships.
Buccaneer refers to the pirates of the Caribbean. Mostly these were French and English expatriates, they set out to be as disruptive as possible to the Spanish fleets that passes through the region. From about 1640-1680 the buccaneers formed a loose network, referred to as the Brethren of the Coast, the pledged never to fight or steal from each other. This group largely disintegrated by the late 1600s as the next generation proved motivated by personal plunder rather than national pride.
That, and the 'talk like a pirate' display were probably the two best parts of the Mel Fisher museum... The rest of it was just a massive wank...
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| Mel Fisher's Wank Museum |
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| Spanish silver recovered from the Atocha |
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| Talk like a pirate |
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| Sun setting in Key West |
I slept much of the way back to Miami, but when I did wake up I had nothing to do but watch the dark go by... My phone died on the way back to the mainland and as a result I was stuck without a form of entertainment (and I didn't want to sleep the entire way back otherwise I would not sleep that night)
Arriving back in Miami I tipped Juan several Juans and went and got some dinner. I walked down Collins Avenue to a pizza bar called 'Pizza Bar'... Original right?... Though I shouldn't make fun, because the pizzas here were the size of a tractor tyre... Seriously big pizzas... Their motto makes sense though, 'Size does matter!'... One slice of cheese cost $5, and was probably the equivalent of 2 slices at other places I've seen near the hostel.
I ate, headed to Walgreens to grab some water and then went back to the hostel.
I jumped into bed and slept.
Saturday
The sleep I had though was very odd. In my room are two people from Panama. The male is a morbidly obese guy who had earlier changed the air conditioner settings... He must've been getting warmer than the rest of us... Anyway, no one had bothered to change it back after he messed with the settings... I woke up at about 5 AM shivering... I put on some socks and a shirt and went back to sleep, although shortly after this I think someone must have turned off the A/C and I got warm again.
I woke up properly at around 11 AM. And as the others in the room were awake and using the shower facilities I was forced to wait around for my turn. So, I laid in bed and waited around...
Once I had showered I took to the streets of South Beach and came across a Miami sightseeing bus directly across the road from the hostel (the cheaper company as well!). I had not actually seen around Miami, so I made my enquiries and working out that I had 10 minutes before the next departure I rushed back to the hostel, put on a massive amount of sunblock and hopped on the bus.
Mum, I am getting my Vitamin D from the sun... I sat on the top deck all afternoon with only the sunblock looking after me... Doing a job it is!
We began by driving North up Collins Avenue in Miami Beach... It is a very nice area of Miami, although apparently it used to be a Jewish ghetto, and in the 1980s were some means streets. Miami Beach originally was bought as a place to provide shelter to the shipwrecked, but it was later bought as a place to grow coconuts and avocados for sale to those in the North, then finally to be made into a resort town.
The architecture was really nice and there were heaps of good looking cars, buildings, and people...
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| Example of the art deco architecture in South Beach |
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| Lifestyles of the South Beach rich and famous |
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| Would've been a nice Christmas party to get invited to |
Let me explain that last bit... There are palm trees and other assorted trees lining the streets of Miami Beach, and large parts of the rest of Miami... Riding around in an open top bus kind of means that you're dodging low hanging branches the entire time... As our tour operator Chris told us, we would be certified boxers by the end after all the dodging and weaving we would have to do...
Chris was a Latin American guy who would speak in English and then in Spanish, doing the tour in both languages... But he would describe every place as 'the very beautiful' or 'the beautiful', or told us things were 'no doubt' a certain way... We all have things we say all the time I guess... But despite his repeating language he was funny and endearing, and when it came to tipping him a bit later on in the day I was happy to throw a few extra dollars his way... He was a brilliant tour guide...
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| View over to Millionaire's Island |
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| View along Indian Creek |
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| According to our boxing instructor/tour guide this was where Ali beat Liston for his first World Heavyweight Title |
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| Star Island |
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| Downtown Miami |
The blue line started with a ride on the highway eventually taking us to Coconut Grove. Along the highway my new hairstyle became even more distinct, as I was rocking the Fry from Futurama hair, standing straight up... I was hoping that look would fly in South Beach...
Coconut Grove was the site of two interesting things... The first was that, this was where LeBron James lived when he was in town... The second was I nearly saw a decapitation... The low hanging branches were still a thing in Coconut Grove, and Chris, not looking forward but back towards us, did not see the thick branch hanging down above his head... It missed him by a matter of centimetres... He immediately made a joke about how Hispanics don't grow any taller than him so he was always going to be safe, but he did note that he felt the breeze on his head... It would've taken all of my being not to swear in that situation if it was me, but then, if it was me I'd have lost my head... Damn being over 6 foot tall...
Coconut Grove was also built on a lot of coral with houses raised substantially above street level. This was because it originally was on the Atlantic coast, but time and movement of the oceans/land and all that plays funny tricks on us all... It was apparently settled by Bahamians seeking refuge back in 1870 or something...
We then headed into Coral Gables where the funniest unintentional moment of the tour happened... As we were ducking trees for large parts of the trip there was substantial weight being put on the chairs at odd angles... This isn't normally an issue... But when you're a big, fat, Nascar fan, it might be an issue... As we pulled up to a set of lights the seat beneath this poor fat man and his wife simply gave out... He came crashing to the floor and I stifled a laugh, but then very openly laughed to the people sitting next to me, who were also stifling laughter... We made friends... (Turned out they were in town for the Dolphins game)... Eventually we got going again, but I had a new top moment of the day...
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| Chris (in red) does his best to help the poor man up |
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| The aftermath on the left and the culprit on the right (wearing the Nascar cap) |
We did stop here for about 10 minutes and I briefly jumped off the bus to sample some Cuban cuisine... Although the woman serving me barely understood anything I said...
This no longer Socialist paradise served deep friend ham and deep fried cheese... I mean, deep fried cheese is a winner (was different to mozzarella as well... I say that because virtually all the deep fried cheese I had had to this point in my life has been mozzarella... But deep fried ham? Outstanding... Although, it had a very sausage roll kind of taste and texture to it, so I am not sure she gave me the right thing... The perils of the language barrier I guess (it wouldn't be the only issues I had with the Spanish language on the day)...
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| Welcome to Little Havana |
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| Domino park |
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| Cuban pastries |
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| The place selling the Latin American food |
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| As we sat and waited to depart loud Cuban music emanated from this restaurant |
Miami even has a pseudo monorail... There is one rail, but the machines riding along as actually trams... It was really odd!
I got off a few blocks short of the hostel, walked South along Washington Avenue, and then took a left to head to the beach. I walked along Miami Beach for some time before heading back to my hostel room, picked up a beach towel from the front desk and headed on to the beach.
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| Miami Beach |
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| Miami Beach |
It was actually really nice at the beach, all of the above aside, although the further from the water I got the worse the sand got (I think because golf buggies carry people along and the sand is very compacted and covered in sharp pieces of gravel).
The downside to hostelling is that you at times must share a bathroom and shower... In my room there were a group of Panamanian people, one of which, as established earlier, was a morbidly obese guy...
Broken English Moment of the Day
Sam: "Can I get in the shower?"
Obese: 'Not good to use bathroom'
Sam: "So... I shouldn't get in the shower?"
Obese: 'No, I get in shower. Bathroom not good to use. You know what I mean'
Sam: "Oh, yeah, I am picking up what you're putting down"
Obese: 'What?'
Sam: "Nevermind, I'll wait"
I waited outside the hostel room on the balcony for about a half hour so that he could use the shower and let the room air out some... This was a good decision...
I eventually showered, taking a nice long shower (with no one else around I don't think it really mattered). Sat on the computer for a while and then headed out for some food.
I did a loop, walking up Collins Avenue beyond the Pizza Bar with the apt name, before turning left towards Washington Avenue, and walking South (past some... questionable people and establishments...) before coming across a Diner at 11th Street. I had breakfast for dinner, eggs, bacon and french toast... Gotta love a brinner...
I then walked back up Collins Avenue, returned to the hostel, got changed and now I'm writing this...
No Communist paradise for me... But I guess I will have to make do with a little Dolphins football tomorrow!
Looks like your having a great time! I loved key west when Riccardo and I went there in may, we didn't do much other than take a photo with the thing, drink cocktails and smoke cigars :P Also, when I got home and told my family about all the chickens, they thought I was crazy.
ReplyDeleteWell, now at least you have a point of reference for your family to prove that the chicken story was not a sign of the crazies...
DeleteAlso: Congratulations Sarah, you've become the first, and thus far only, person to post a comment to any of my blog posts... As a reward, you can have a reference in a future blog post, so, let me know what you'd like and I'll try and crowbar it in somewhere